Social Skills

In response to a reader’s question last week, I have a few ideas and thoughts about AS children and their social skills.  First, as parents, we need to be extremely aware of our own feelings of rejection and loneliness and own them as such; our feelings are our own.  We may be sad and frustrated as we watch our child struggle socially, but our child may be perfectly content to be alone.  With this in mind it is extremely important to be positive and supportive as we encourage our children to experience the beautiful and confusing world we live in.  

Teaching AS children and teens social skills is a daunting task for sure.  Teachers and parents need to work together.  Years ago we participated in Barbara Lester’s social skills groups.  She is a licensed social worker and has a website with videos full of information to help teens improve their social skills.  Barbara recommends involving young adults with Asperger’s in groups that they share common interests with.  This could be a chess club, bird watching group or art class, to name a few.  Theater or acting classes are beneficial because they encourage repetitive interaction allowing them to practice social behaviors.  I think the key is to find the thing that sparks your child and engage him in a group of people with similar interests.

One blogger on yourlittleprofessor.com shares a really good comparison that shows some of the challenges we face as we try to help our AS children grasp the social world we live in.  “It is not like teaching how to ride a bicycle or tie a shoe, but rather trying to teach something no one formally taught you. How did you learn how to read a room? How do you teach someone how to read a room, especially someone who has no understanding of other people's emotions and body language? Children with Asperger Syndrome have no idea about how to reason socially and come up with proper courses of action in social situations. For example, one boy with Asperger Syndrome got lost in the school corridors on his way to gym. He had forgotten the route, but he did not think to simply follow his classmates to the gym.”

Sometimes I think autistic children prefer to be alone because it is less painful.  Most of the time they are not very well accepted and have been hurt by people.  The more we learn and understand about autism, the better able we will be to help and teach our children the social skills they need to be productive, positive members of the community.  Below I have included some great websites, blogs and book references that you may find helpful as you try to encourage your child to interact and socialize with the people around him.

~Korin

P.S. Tony Attwood is an amazing author and has written several books about Asperger’s Syndrome.  I would highly recommend looking him up as well! 

Atwood, T. (1998). Asperger’s syndrome: A guide for parents and professionals. London, England: Jessica Kingsley.

http://www.asperger-advice.com/asperger-teens.html

http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/social.html

Barbara Lester blog videos-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-II-rbkRbv4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_J3T6MXb5_Q

Barbara Lester blog-

http://asdspecialist.com/blog/?page_id=59

Book- 

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/social-skills-for-teens-and-young-adults-with-aspergers-syndrome-nancy-j-patrick/1009273076?ean=9781843108764