Community Paper- Parenting Matters and More

Children on the Autistic spectrum provide not only a challenging perspective to the family unit but also to the classroom.  Parenting has a direct influence on the well-being of not only the family as a whole but on the individual children that are part of the family dynamic. The physical, social and emotional development of a child is a direct correlation to the type of parenting that a child experiences. Research studies have shown that parenting practices that include encouragement, positive reinforcement, displays of warmth and affection through physical contact, being involved in the child’s recreational and social activities and having consistent yet not overbearing disciplinary tactics can lead to positive self-image/self-esteem, appropriate decision-making, fewer behavioral problems, healthier peer associations and educational proficiency.  Parents that promote harmony within the family also help children with outside stresses and assist them in building appropriate coping mechanisms (Kotchick & Forehand, 2002).  Autistic children however often exhibit social and developmental limitations or delays which may call for modifications in parenting styles as well as teaching techniques. Care and protectiveness are essential parenting skills for all children; however, because of an Autistic child’s limitations, parents may become over protective.  According to the 2004 journal article entitled “What lies beneath: Parenting style and implicit self-esteem” by Dehart, Pelham and Tennen, “The dimension of overprotectiveness reflects excessive control, which probably interferes with the child’s ability to develop a sense of autonomy or competence.  More specifically, over-helping or overprotection may undermine a child’s ability to take full credit for their accomplishments, which may result in lower self-esteem.” How then can parents and educators work together to ensure the success of Autistic children? 

All children are born with inherit gifts and talents and the ability to understand right and wrong.  It is a parent’s responsibility to master a child’s gifts and talents and to demonstrate and teach them what is right and wrong based not only on society’s standards but more importantly the family’s standards and expectations.   In other words, parents matter in a child’s life.  Without a parent(s), a child has no sense of self.  However, with Autistic children, parents and educators must work side by side to ensure that Autistic children meet their potential and develop a positive self-image as well as thrive within a safe and secure environment. Through consistent communication between parents and educators, educators will be able to understand potential outside forces that impact parenting behaviors such as culture and ethnicity; socioeconomic status and poverty; and neighborhood and community. Autism runs a full spectrum of ability levels and each child’s abilities and inabilities are unique. Parents and educators need to use each other as references to determine what are realistic goals for Autistic children in both the classroom and home settings.  Parents and educators should then set a plan together to help the

Autistic child accomplish each goal by utilizing resources in the classroom as well as on the home front, i.e. visual aids and instructional curriculum.  Additionally, parents and educators should always celebrate each goal that is accomplished by the Autistic child, no matter how small or how big.

Overall, parenting is a universal calling; it can be joyful, surprising, loving, demanding, exhausting and frustrating but a gift that should be viewed as a precious one (Holt,2013).  Parenting an Autistic child should not be viewed any differently.  By establishing positive and effective communication between parents and educators, parents of Autistic children will be more successful in their parenting skills; therefore, allowing their Autistic children to become successful, competent human beings.

References:

Dehart, T., Pelham, B. W. & Tennen, H. (2006). What lies beneath: Parenting style and implicit self-esteem.  Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 42, 1-16.

Kotchick, B. A. & Forehand, R. (2002).  Putting Parenting in Perspective: A Discussion of the

            Contextual Factors That Shape Parenting Practices.  Journal of Child and Family Studies,

            11, 235-269.

Hembree, D. (2012, January 13). How to Talk to Parent’s of an Autistic Child: Hints from an

Autistic Teacher. [Web log comment]. Retrieved from

 http://voices.yahoo.com/how-talk-parents-autistic-child-10819371.html

Holt, E. (2013). Belief Paper- Parenting Matters.

Holt, E. (2013). Academic Paper.

-Elizabeth H.

Helping Children with Autism

Posted below, you will find my presentation on ways we can help children with Autism. Thanks for taking the time to view it!  ~Korin


http://www.authorstream.com/Presentation/autismmatters-1760655-helping-children-autism/

Parenting Matters!

In this post I want to discuss the importance of parenting all children, including those on the Autistic Spectrum. Parenting style and how well they respond to their child has a huge affect on whether a child is able to maintain healthy secure relationships.  It also influences their development and future success. Children on the Autistic Spectrum are no exception.  

The first aspect of parenting I would like to mention is responsiveness.  Responding immediately to your child in a nurturing way promotes trust, security, and confidence in the child. “Research has shown that a mother’s ability to attune, regulate, and appropriately respond to an infant has significant relational and developmental implications” (Snyder, Shapiro & Treleaven, 2012, p. 709).  When parents show continual immediate responsiveness to their child’s needs as they grow and develop, they foster a secure attachment throughout the child’s lifetime.  It is important that the parent realize the different developmental stages of the child and adjust their responsiveness to ensure the child feels their needs are met.  The child must feel that the parent is aware of their needs and responding appropriately.  

Support is the next aspect of parenting I feel is extremely important.  Families that are supportive tend to have children with higher levels of self-esteem, which helps the children have a more positive and optimistic outlook on life.   When children with high self-esteem are not successful at a certain academic, athletic, or social situation they recognize that they are still a person of value and worth.  They are better able to learn from the negative experience and see that they can use it to help them continue forward and upward in the positive direction rather than letting the experience beat them down.  This may be a very hard concept for the child on the spectrum to understand because of their rigid, no gray, only black and white way of viewing the world.  Social situations also prove to be hard to navigate.  Support is an important aspect of parenting for increasing the autistic child’s self-esteem.   

 Parents that encourage their children to be active participants in the decision making process encourage good problem solving skills. This is not to say that children have the final say in the decision made, but they are encouraged to voice their opinions and feel that they are an important, valued member of the family unit.  This type of interaction helps to foster independent thinking and teaches children to “engage in thoughtful and responsible behavior” (Heath, 2013, p. 30) which encourages them to be better team players with their peers.  This successful team playing continues from childhood into adulthood and enables them to be able to problem solve with a diverse group of individuals as they mature.   Another way children learn to problem solve is through sibling relationships.  Parent’s response to their children’s squabbles with each other shape the children’s ability to resolve conflict.  Most of the time siblings’ relationships are positive.  Even when siblings do occasionally disagree, they tend to still remain near each other and continue to interact in a positive manner after the conflict subsides.    It is important that parents appropriately evaluate when to intervene and when to stay out of the squabble.  Too much negative intervention dampens the siblings’ ability to problem solve on their own.  Some intervention when appropriate can help the siblings recognize how their actions are affecting others and teach them moral reasoning skills.  This is something that is extremely hard for the autistic child to comprehend and will require a lot of patience as the parents help them learn.

Understanding that each child has unique interests and helping them to achieve success within those interests helps the child recognize and develop their talents.  A positive way to enhance a child’s academic achievement and self-esteem is encouraging participation in extracurricular activities.  A child that feels successful in one area will be better able to manage successfully with the areas that may be more difficult for them.  Parenting is an opportunity to encourage children to discover who they really are, what their strengths and talents might be, and guide them as they learn and grow.  The choices that parents make as they interact with their children reflect how they feel about their children as individuals and influences the choices they make.  Children learn by interacting with their parents.  The authors of an article “Attachment Theory and Mindfulness”, share an example of a stressful situation very familiar to parents and then suggests a positive way to handle the situation. The article tells of a mother who becomes frustrated because her child is making multiple attempts to get her attention while she is trying to finish a task.   She recognizes she is irritated and chooses to take a moment before she responds to her child.  This type of mindfulness, will allow the mother to pause, recognize her frustration, how it is affecting her, and her train of thought.  She then can see the stressful situation as an opportunity to choose “the high road.”  If the mother can pause before she reacts, she might be able to feel compassion for her child and realize the child is ultimately looking for connection and contact (Snyder et al., 2012, p. 713).  This type of self awareness demonstrates love and caring to the child and will help to further the secure attachment of the child as well as help the mother become better acquainted with herself through the process.  This is a good way to be a positive example for the child.  Showing children a positive way to handle stressful situations will help them learn to be kind, caring and more sensitive.  These attributes will serve all children well as they mature and spend increasingly more time with their peers and coworkers.  

When children are made to feel loved, valued, and of worth as an individual, as well as an important member of the family, they will have brighter happier outcomes.  

Yes, Parenting Matters!  

~Korin

Heath, P. (2013). Parent-child relationships: Context, research, and application. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson     Education, Inc.

Snyder, R., Shapiro, S., & Treleaven, D. (2012). Attachment theory and mindfulness. Journal of Child & Family Studies, 21(5), 709-717.

Reader Question Response- iSTAR

Here is a reader question that has been submitted by the iSTAR research project at the University of Utah which focuses on educational intervention for high functioning autistic children that are school age and young adults. The question is as follows:

             

Do you think children with autism should be told about their disability/diagnosis and if so when? My experience is that the some parents we have worked with don't want to discuss autism with their child and this makes it hard for us given that the focus of our iSTAR project is autism!

Children on the autism spectrum whom have been diagnosed with high-functioning autism or Aspergers should be given information about their disability/diagnosis; however, parents should be cautious in how this information is given to their child.  By withholding information from a child about their Autistic diagnosis and not helping them understand their limitations, harmful consequences (low self-esteem and self-acceptance) can be produced as the child becomes an adult.   Parents may choose not to tell their children about their diagnosis for several reasons which can include the fear that the child will not understand because of language limitations; the child will become angry, depressed or the child will think of themselves as a failure with no positive outlook for the future.  These problems can certainly happen whether a child is told or not; however, the probability is greater when a child has not been told.  Autistic children may know they are different, but because they are delayed in certain developmental areas, they may come to the wrong conclusion about their perceived differences. 

Parents should be aware that there is not an exact time or age that is appropriate to tell a child about their Autistic diagnosis.  If a parent begins too early, the child may become confused.  If the child is older, they may become extremely sensitive to the fact they are different.  Preferably parents should allow their children to give signals of when they are ready to comprehend information about their disorder.  Questions such as “What is wrong with me?”; “Why can’t I be like everyone else? or “What is wrong with everyone?” are clear indications that a child is looking for clarification and guidance.

To place a positive approach to answering these questions which in essence is telling a child about their disorder, parents should develop an environment that projects positive discussion over a person’s learning style, temperament, personality, sensory issues and idiosyncrasies.  Also, use language that “emphasizes strengths in relation to challenges”.  When someone in the family does something well, point it out as an asset.  Make the connection that everyone (children and adults) excels in certain areas; this should promote non-judgmental comparison and a possible mentoring environment.  Discuss how to use strengths to balance challenges, i.e. poor penmanship but loves to draw.  And finally, explain in realistic terms that everyone has challenges either with their brains, emotions or physical capabilities.    

When Autistic children are present in the classroom but are unaware of their diagnosis, educators are placed in a precarious position.  These children may often turn to their educator to answer questions about themselves or about their peers especially if their parents are unwilling to share information.  Because of a parent’s reluctance, an Autistic child may feel trapped within a confusing and frustrating world with no positive outlet.  If however, a child is aware of their diagnosis, educators are then able to focus on the strengths of the child and provide a teaching environment that promotes success not failures.   

References:

Connie. (2012, March). The Easy Way to Tell a Child They Have Autism. [Web log comment]. Retrieved from

            http://parentcoachingforautism.com/2012/03/telling-a-child-they-have-autism/

Robison, J. (2011, April 18). When Should You Tell a Child They Have Asperger’s? [Wed log comment].  Retrieved from

            http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-robison/when-should-you-tell-a-ch_b_849864.html.

Wheeler, M. (2003) “Getting Started: Introducing Your Child to His or Her Diagnosis of Autism or Asperger Syndrome”.  The Reporter, 9(1), 1-5.  http://www.iidc.indiana.edu/?pageId=362.

 -Elizabeth Holt

Understanding Autistic Students in the Classroom

- Elizabeth Holt

Recommended Blog

In my studies this past couple of weeks I have been looking for autism blogs that are supported by empirical evidence and have found that while many blogs are interesting and offer a unique perspective into the autistic world, few are supported by empirical research.

The blog titled Your Little Professor; Resources and Academic Programs for Children with Asperger’s Syndrome, does however, provide well documented and researched information.  This blog is very well written and references multiple academic articles and books authored by professional psychologists.  The posts are intended to provide support for parents and educate the community in an effort to help further the understanding and knowledge of autism.  There are multiple links and entries with information on a range of topics including the diagnosis of Asperger’s to loneliness and friendship that accompany the syndrome.   

The author of most of the blog’s posts is Catherine H. Knott, Ph.D., an anthropologist and educator specializing in education, community, environment, and agriculture. She received her Bachelors Degree from Yale University, and her Ph.D. from Cornell University. It is unfortunate that she does not have a link telling readers more about herself though.  

One of my favorite posts is titled Horseback Riding as Therapy.  In this post she does a beautiful job explaining the pains of parents as they mourn for the part of life that their autistic child misses out on.  The relationships that are not experienced, the emotional disconnect and the hard work it takes to train an autistic person’s brain to allow deep levels of connection to be learned are discussed. 

The Choosing Gifts for Children with Asperger’s post explains the importance of unconditional love and celebrating it every day, not just birthdays and holidays.  I enjoyed her perspective of time being the best gift of all.  Showing interest in your child and their special interest will show your child you value them for who they are.

The final post I want to mention is the interview with Dr Angela Ver Ploeg, a School Psychologist that specializes in the study of Asperger’s.  Every person of every ability desires connection.  Educators have the opportunity to assist all their students in making connections and creating relationships.  A young student with Asperger’s states,  “For my entire life, I have searched for a sense of belonging—for friends my own age, a club, or a community where I can be myself and feel at home” (Laursen & Yasdgerdi, 2012).  This post shares the importance of social skills groups and the need for school environments to be flexible in order to provide a secure safe environment for the autistic child to develop meaningful relationships with other students.

~Korin

Laursen, E. K., & Yazdgerdi, S. (2012). Autism and belonging. Reclaiming Children & Youth, 21(2), 44-47.

http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/social.html

Social Skills

In response to a reader’s question last week, I have a few ideas and thoughts about AS children and their social skills.  First, as parents, we need to be extremely aware of our own feelings of rejection and loneliness and own them as such; our feelings are our own.  We may be sad and frustrated as we watch our child struggle socially, but our child may be perfectly content to be alone.  With this in mind it is extremely important to be positive and supportive as we encourage our children to experience the beautiful and confusing world we live in.  

Teaching AS children and teens social skills is a daunting task for sure.  Teachers and parents need to work together.  Years ago we participated in Barbara Lester’s social skills groups.  She is a licensed social worker and has a website with videos full of information to help teens improve their social skills.  Barbara recommends involving young adults with Asperger’s in groups that they share common interests with.  This could be a chess club, bird watching group or art class, to name a few.  Theater or acting classes are beneficial because they encourage repetitive interaction allowing them to practice social behaviors.  I think the key is to find the thing that sparks your child and engage him in a group of people with similar interests.

One blogger on yourlittleprofessor.com shares a really good comparison that shows some of the challenges we face as we try to help our AS children grasp the social world we live in.  “It is not like teaching how to ride a bicycle or tie a shoe, but rather trying to teach something no one formally taught you. How did you learn how to read a room? How do you teach someone how to read a room, especially someone who has no understanding of other people's emotions and body language? Children with Asperger Syndrome have no idea about how to reason socially and come up with proper courses of action in social situations. For example, one boy with Asperger Syndrome got lost in the school corridors on his way to gym. He had forgotten the route, but he did not think to simply follow his classmates to the gym.”

Sometimes I think autistic children prefer to be alone because it is less painful.  Most of the time they are not very well accepted and have been hurt by people.  The more we learn and understand about autism, the better able we will be to help and teach our children the social skills they need to be productive, positive members of the community.  Below I have included some great websites, blogs and book references that you may find helpful as you try to encourage your child to interact and socialize with the people around him.

~Korin

P.S. Tony Attwood is an amazing author and has written several books about Asperger’s Syndrome.  I would highly recommend looking him up as well! 

Atwood, T. (1998). Asperger’s syndrome: A guide for parents and professionals. London, England: Jessica Kingsley.

http://www.asperger-advice.com/asperger-teens.html

http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/social.html

Barbara Lester blog videos-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-II-rbkRbv4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_J3T6MXb5_Q

Barbara Lester blog-

http://asdspecialist.com/blog/?page_id=59

Book- 

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/social-skills-for-teens-and-young-adults-with-aspergers-syndrome-nancy-j-patrick/1009273076?ean=9781843108764